While a divorce may mean the dissolution of a marriage to an ex-spouse and the end of your marital relationship, ex-spouses who are also parents will usually never be able to fully cut ties with one another. This is generally true because ex-spouses who had children during their marriage will still remain in each other’s lives as the biological parents of their common children. To be clear, the end of the marriage as spouses does not act to relieve either party of their parenting responsibility to their children. No matter the circumstances of the divorce and whether the ex-spouses like it or not, they must still responsibly and amicably share parenting responsibilities with their ex-spouse, as doing so is in the children’s best interest.
Tips for Co-Parenting after Divorce
Depending on the situation, it may be difficult for parents to take a step back from any personal issues or negative feelings they have toward their ex in favor of forming a cordial relationship for the benefit of their children. However, it is helpful for all parties involved if divorced parents look at this as an opportunity for a new start and to focus on putting their children’s needs first.
A new article suggests the following tips for successful co-parenting for divorced parents:
Set Hurt and Anger Aside – Put your own feelings behind the needs of your children. This is a challenging yet integral part of co-parenting. Do not let your feelings dictate your behavior, but stay motivated by what is best for your children. If there are times you cannot control negative feelings toward your ex-spouse, avoid letting it affect your children.
Communicate with Your Ex – Try to achieve peaceful and purposeful communication with your ex that focuses on your child’s well being. Keep these communications free of conflict by setting a business-like tone, making requests, listening, showing restraint, being consistent in your communications, and keeping all conversations centered around the children.
Parent as a Team – You will have to make many joint decisions regarding your children, so make an effort to cooperate with your ex and speak to each other without fighting. Keep your communication goals centered on consistency, courtesy, and teamwork. Children will benefit from the stability of having the same basic set of expectations at each home. Be open and honest, and attempt to resolve any disagreements with respect and compromise.
Make Transitions Easier – Transitions associated with divorce represent a major change for children. Parents can facilitate transitions by helping children anticipate them, prepare for them in advance, and allow the custodial parent to drop off at the end of the visit. When your child returns from being with your ex-spouse, be sensitive to their feelings and needs while offering support. It may help to work on establishing a special routine for when they return.
Divorce and Family Law Attorney
The experienced attorneys at Ayers Family Law, LLC have successful experience representing clients in different types of family law matters, including divorce and child custody and support. Contact us today to schedule a consultation to discuss your matter. We are prepared to help you in any way that we can.